Mi Dia en El Calafate
(Tuesday, 23 November 2010) Written by Keith Rhoades
Today was my built in "chill" day....I slept a little later and took my time getting ready this morning.  I hiked up a mountain outside of town to get a view of the lake and the mountains.  the weather was sunny and cold and really windy.  If it wasn't for the wind it wouldn't have been too bad.  I then walked downhill toward the lake and stumbled accross a little museum which actually was very interesting.  It was a small but well put together museum about evolution and the native people of Patagonia,  the creation of the various continents, and the migratory paths of early homo sapiens.  It was really facsinating.  I spent nearly an hour there.  they also had a lot about Darwins expedition to this area and Magellan who coined the term Patagonia which meant land of barbarians because he felt the natives of this area were barbarians. 
 
It was almost difficult for me to comprehend the historical time line of the earth...the millions of years for continents to slip and slide, periods of warming and glacial covering, the tens of thousands of years of dinosaurs and their extinction, and the migratory paths of humans from africa north to europe and trhough asia and over the bearing strait.  It makes everything seem insignificant and at the same time significant.  How all of that past history and mating lead us to be here and to be who we are...chance or divine pupose?
 
they also had an exhibit on evolution and what allowed mamals and particularly humans to evolve and survive.  I then headed down to Laguna Ninez a preservation land by the lake with wetlands and went on a 3 mile hike.  I would have enjoyed it more if there was less wind...but I saw so many birds...even flamingos!  A bunch of different hawks, condors, comorans, and other native birds.  It is spring so they are nesting.  there were wild dogs chasing the birds and ruining their nests.  The birds were getting pissed hovering above but there was nothing they could do.  It was sort of sad to watch...but a reminder of the harshness of the wild and surival of the fitest.
 
I then headed into the small town of El Calafate which is only about 10 blocks long.  I went window shopping and to the municipal museum which had a display of early pioneers to the region...mainly for sheep hearding and wool industry.  I ate my packed lunch in the park, wandered around town and headed back to my room where I took a nap...nearly 1 1-2 hour nap...which is unheard of for me.
 
I felt sort of edgy and anxious all day...and most if it because I know I am in the tail end of the trip..the fantasy is almost over and I am "bracing for impact" of returning home.  It is this sort of thinking about the future that robs me of the present and being totally present in the moment.  Tomorrow I return to Buenos Aires for the last leg of this journey...and Saturday an all day journey back home to Torrance..to return to regular life...but what is that life.
 
Of course having more free time I have become more introspective today and really contemplating things about my life and goals I would like to attain.  I think the two things in my life that I would like to see improved is social and career work.  I feel the need to expand my social horizons and get out more perhaps even date if nothing else...create a more close tight nit group of friends as sometimes the loneliness I feel is overwhelming.  and I realize that often the loneliness is self induced because I choose not to accept certain social invitation or put myself out there...and I really need to change that.  I find that I often put wall around myself or keep myself guarded to keep from getting hurt but this is robbing me of close intimate friendships.  this however is something I am looking forward to changing.
 
the other area of my life that is a disaster is work.  It is not just my current job but the whole field of social services...Ive worked in it so long and am so burned out for a variety of reasons.  Yet I stay in this field and my current job because it is secure and I am familiar with it.  But I am not growing or thriving and I have no passion for it at all.  I think about what I like what are my passions...travel, exercise-fitness, history, education and trying to figure out how I can make money or a career out of those things.  At some level I realize there are so many career opportunity and options out there but I get so caught up in fear and not wanting to change or take risks...and thus I end up in a stagnant state.  Ive started taking steps in getting certified in fitness.  but in the back of my mind I still have these fears am I too old to change?  what will happen? will I be any good?  could I really do travel writing?  what about insurance and benefits? what about steady income?   These questions reace through my mind....and I get scared...but I realize that things cannot stay the same...
 
I have always believe that people do not make change in their life until the fear of change is less than the misery of the current situation.  And I think in the last year the misery of my current situation outweight the fear of change and I am getting ready to make the steps necessary for change.  I just dont know where any of this will lead.
 
When your young it seems like everything is set out for you and clear and you have time on your side.  as you get older things get less certain and you begin to realize that the sands in the hour glass are beginning to get less.
 
Well, I digressed probably far more than I should have or you may have wanted to read....but I find this type of writing very therapeutic for me...it helps clear my mind, give me direction, and I usually learn that someone on the receiving end of this email wrestles with the same issues which helps me to know I am not alone.
 
It is my last night in El Calafate.  Tomorrow is pretty much shot with transit...I have a flight back to Ushuaia, transfer to Buenos Aires, and return to my hostel.  I have all day Thursday and friday and hope to see the Eva Peron Museum, walk around La Boca, and I would like to get up to El Tigre Delta.  So much to see and do...so little time.
 
Well, until tomorrow night from Buenos Aires...
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